Can't Change That

Learning and growing through times of grief

Can't Change That
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  • Advent,  Blog,  Christian World View,  Grief and Loss,  Holidays and Hard Days

    Advent Through the Lens of Grief: Week Four – Love

    Love can feel complicated in grief. In this Week Four Advent reflection, we explore God’s love through loss, the incarnation of Christ, and the hope that love did not stay distant—it crossed over.

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    jthomas
  • Advent,  Blog,  Christian World View,  Grief and Loss,  Holidays and Hard Days

    Advent Through the Lens of Grief: Week Three — Joy

    Joy often feels out of place in grief. This Advent reflection explores how Christian joy is not happiness, but quiet confidence that God is still doing something good—even now.

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    jthomas
  • Why Hope is So Hard
    Blog,  Christian World View,  Grief and Loss,  Learning in Grief,  Stories Matter,  What Influences Grief

    Learning to Hope Again When Grief Reopens Old Wounds

    This summer, I’ve been working through a Bible study with a friend: Hope For The Hurting Heart, by Linda Dillow. It’s a gentle, faith-based companion for those walking through grief. With honesty shaped by deep loss, Dillow offers more than advice—she offers presence. Her “Heart Skills” are not spiritual checklists. They’re anchors for when sorrow threatens to pull you under. We haven’t made it far in the book yet, but one chapter—on Hope—stopped me in my tracks. Honestly, it would’ve been worth the entire book just for that one lesson. Because if I’m being honest… The search for hope may be my greatest struggle in life. Especially during times of grief.…

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    jthomas
  • Blog,  Christian World View,  Grief and Loss,  Holidays and Hard Days,  What Influences Grief

    I Will Never Forget The First Time I Heard That Song

    Music and Memory in GriefMusic is a universal language. It reflects the heart and touches the soul. In seasons of grief, it opens a valve to our emotions. That’s why so many people find healing through music. Each season, I seem to discover a new song that helps me say what my heart is feeling. Especially around the holidays, I find myself listening again and again as I silently cry, “I miss you.”Here are a few of the songs that have carried me. The Sweetest Gift (Craig Aven 2016) In 2018, shortly after Bryan died, I came across The Sweetest Gift by Craig Aven. Christmas had already passed, but I…

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    jthomas
  • What's Your Story
    Blog,  Grief and Loss,  Learning in Grief,  Stories Matter

    As One Parent To Another, What’s Your Story?

    Grieving as a parent is one of the hardest roads we walk. But sharing our stories helps us remember the life, not just the loss. Telling our stories keeps memories alive—it’s how I hold on to my sons, David Michael and Bryan Marcus, and how I also celebrate the lives of my daughters, Robin and Sara. Earlier this year, I had the chance to share my personal story of grieving as a parent on the podcast “While We’re Waiting.” I am forever grateful to Brad and Jill Persenaire Sullivan and Janice and Larry Brown for how they walk alongside bereaved parents through this powerful ministry. In part one of this…

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    jthomas
  • Avoiding Road Rage and Embracing Gapers
    Blog,  Grief and Loss,  Holidays and Hard Days

    Grieving Into The Holidays – Ragers and Gapers

    Part Two As you drive through the holidays, you not only face speedbumps (things you can anticipate may be headed your way) and potholes (things you don’t see coming) but there are other drivers on the road. Every driver you pass is on a journey as well. Each can potentially cause a challenge for you to arrive safely at your destination. So, avoid one and embrace the other. Avoid this…Road Rage We’ve all been driving down the road and seen drivers overreact to being cut off. It is called road rage. Road rage is the violent anger caused by the stress and frustration involved in driving a motor vehicle in difficult conditions. When it…

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    jthomas
  • Grief Speedbumps and Potholes
    Blog,  Christian World View,  Grief and Loss,  Holidays and Hard Days

    Grieving Into The Holidays – Speedbumps and Potholes

    Part One The holidays are a complicated part of life in the midst of grief. Holiday festivities and holiday grief don’t usually mix well. Families gathering around a Christmas tree and someone missing are awkward. What are some tips to help “drive through the holidays” with as minor damage as possible?  When it comes to hard days and holidays, beware of speedbumps and potholes.  Speedbumps I know it is a word-picture and might be silly, but go with me here. If you think about a speed bump, they are forseeable changes. It is usually well-marked. A sign typically warns you it is coming. It is put there intentionally to “slow you down.” And if you…

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    jthomas
  • Finding Hope in Heaven
    Blog,  Christian World View,  Grief and Loss,  Learning in Grief

    Gifts in the Midst of Grief – Part Three

    Grief is a journey that can last as long as life on earth. But I believe it isn't the end of our stories. It is only the beginning.

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    jthomas
  • Grieve In Helpful Ways
    Blog,  Grief and Loss,  Learning in Grief

    Gifts in the Midst of Grief – Part Two

    I am not sure I set out to find “gifts in the midst of grief.” I just wanted to survive the brokenness I felt. Yet, I did find a second gift. Grieve in Helpful Ways When Bryan died, I only knew ONE person who had lost a child, Joan. She lived in Chicago, and I lived in Texas. She was a bucket person for me. That means I  could lean into her for wisdom and insight, especially the first days, weeks, and months after Bryan died.  During our MANY conversations, especially coming up to “big days,” she would share things she found helpful early on in her grief. On several occasions, she shared…

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    jthomas
  • Blog,  Grief and Loss,  Learning in Grief

    Gifts in the Midst Grief – Part One

    “I hear I need to ask for and accept help from others. I don’t know what I need. It is hard to ask. It is easier to pull away.”

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    jthomas
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Looking for support in the midst of grief?

Wondering if you are ready for a grief group?
Looking for resources for a specific loss?
Grieving a loss of someone you love?
REBUILD workshops offer comfort, hope, and practical tools for healing. New groups meet each fall and spring in the Richardson/Plano/Garland area.
Learn more or email
Faith-based Retreat for Bereaved Parents and Local Support Groups for bereaved parents
13-week support group to help you move through the grief process.
Helps connect individuals with Mental Health Resources in the state of Texas.
Are you troubled by a past abortion? You are not alone.

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