Grief is complicated. We search for answers, but the most beneficial things that can occur aren’t the answers but those we meet along our search.
When Bryan died, I knew ONE PERSON who had lost a child, Joan. I met Joan five years before as I became involved with a lifemaping ministry called Listen To My Life. Joan helped so much in the early days, weeks, months, and years. While she was a wealth of knowledge with loads of resources, the most helpful thing Joan did (and does) was walk beside me. It is a “walking beside you” experience of not having to have the answer or even explain the question. It is a sacred space of one person “knowing” your pain and loving you. When Bryan died, I knew ONE PERSON who had lost a child, Joan. I met Joan five years before as I became involved with a lifemaping ministry called Listen To My Life. Joan helped so much in the early days, weeks, months, and years. While she was a wealth of knowledge with loads of resources, the most helpful thing Joan did (and does) was walk beside me. It is a “walking beside me” experience of not having to have the answer or even explain the question. It is a sacred space of one person “knowing” your pain and loving you.
Joan lives in Chicago, so getting together isn’t something we get to do often. However, now and then, I get the rare treat of a face-to-face conversation. Her trip to Texas to help her daughter move provided some precious “face-time” at the perfect time. It was the week of Bryan’s birthday; I was on the verge of tears before she entered the restaurant. So, as we discussed what was below the surface, all the “understanding” gave way to healing and peace. She didn’t answer ONE QUESTION (which is unusual because I typically have a list). She did sit with me, allowed me to say things I dare not speak to those who don’t know the pain of child loss, and nodded her head (a nod of understanding). It was the gift of companioning.
Perhaps you read my story and LONG for someone who “understands” your particular loss in a way that is a balm to your soul. Great news! There is help. Grief Share, Compassionate Friends, While We’re Waiting, Hope Mommies, Journey of Hope, Grief and Loss Center of North Texas, and Grief Works are groups I am familiar with in the North Texas area. The one I found most helpful is called REBUILD. Rebuild is a local grief group that teaches you tools to process your grief and opportunities to connect with others who understand your kind of loss. Groups begin each Fall and Spring on Monday nights at 7 PM at Woodcreek Church. To find out more, click here.
