Grief is a journey that can last as long as life on earth. But I believe it isn’t the end of our stories. It is only the beginning.
Finding Hope In Heaven
About 2 1/2 years into my one-year grief plan, one brave friend, Carol, began to ask a question. “Have you ever wondered what Bryan’s new home (Heaven) is like?” I realize not everyone in the throes of grief wants to consider Heaven. And I realize that you might hear something from one person and not from another person. It is about relationships. Carol had walked beside me long before Bryan died and had been my “safe person” since day one when Bryan died. I was ready to move past “why,” at least that day.
So, I got out my bible and began digging, looking for answers.
- To live is Christ, and die is gain. Philippians 1:21
- To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:8
- He will wipe away every tear, and there will be no more pain. Revelations 21:4
- And I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The old has passed away, and behold, all things are new. Revelations 21:1
It was all nice, but I couldn’t imagine Heaven. I tried to remember the first glimpse of heaven we got after Bryan died. It was at the funeral. Our Pastor spoke of the death of Lazarus and Martha’s question to Jesus and a reminder that while we grieve, “we don’t grieve as those who have no hope.” At the time, it was comforting to know Bryan was in Heaven, but I wanted him here on earth with me.
Eventually, I picked up a book, Heaven, by Randy Alcorn. It was one of those “3 people in 3 weeks mentioned it” moments, so I took that as a hint from God. Alcorn starts the book by saying we all long for heaven, but most of us know little about it. So, we are left to “fill in the blanks” with stories, misquoted scriptures, and bits and pieces we pick up along the way.
Ask For What You Need
Honestly, the book itself reads more like a textbook than a storybook. Having learned to ask for what I needed, I asked again. This time, I asked Leslie, another trusted friend who had been there since day one, to read the book with me and talk through what we had learned. Reading Heaven with someone gave me space to wrestle with my questions and check my understanding.
We would read a few chapters and explore questions to take it in. In each chapter, we were blown away with stuff we never knew. Do you know there is a past heaven, present heaven, and future heaven? When we die, we go to the present or Intermediate Heaven? And did you know we will work in heaven? I’m not sure how transferable my current skills are because there won’t be any crisis pregnancies in heaven. And there will be animals in heaven? I’m hoping they can talk, like in the Chronicles of Narnia. And best of all, we will see our loved ones who knew Jesus. And I’ve been storing up hugs for my beloved son.
Pass It On
I got really excited as I read and talked about it all the time! Then, I had the hair-brained idea of offering a summer book discussion on Heaven, and I was blown away when 65 men and women signed up to join me. We sat around tables discussing Heaven, using the same questions my friend and I had used, and each imagined what our eternal home would be.
Learning about Heaven has been a healing part of my journey of grief. It doesn’t bring Bryan back to me (which is my heart’s desire), but when I think about being reunited with him someday in heaven, it feels more natural. And it cements the idea that he wouldn’t come back, even if he could.
Reflection
What questions have you pondered after the death of your loved one? What hope have you found in finding answers in the answers? Does the thought of Heaven bring healing in your journey? While no answer gives you what you desire most, your loved one back, having hope can make the journey bearable.
