Music is a universal language. It is a reflection of the heart and touches the soul, and in seasons of grief, it opens a valve to our emotions. So, it is no surprise that artists have found healing through music over the years.
It seems each season, I have found a new song to play over and over as my heart cries, “I miss you, especially over the holidays.” Here are some of my favorites.
The Sweetest Gift (Craig Aven 2016)
In 2018, shortly after Bryan died, I found the song, The Sweetest Gift by Craig Aven. Christmas had passed and I was stuck in time. I played this song over and over. Looking for something that brought hope, this is where I found it and it remains an “on repeat” song over the holiday season 7 years later. Pretty cool story behind this song.
“Got your picture in the frame,
And a stocking with your name,
Oh God knows its been hard letting go.
And I can’t bring you back,
But I’ll see you again.
And oh that thought is healing to my soul.
And I’ll miss making Angels with you in the snow.
I guess instead you will be singing with them all around the throne.
‘Cus You’re with the Son of God,
You’re with the Prince of Peace.
You’re with the One we’re celebrating,
And that thought amazes me.
Sometimes I still break down,
grieving that we’re apart,
But the sweetest gift is knowing where your are.
You’re with the Son of God.”
Christmas In Heaven (Christmas With Scotty McCreery 2012)
In 2022, my perspective of Bryan’s death brought with it a desire to understand what he was experiencing in Heaven. Often, I heard others talk about sensing their loved one’s presence or seeing a cardinal and sensing that was their loved one with them. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get there. I found Christmas in Heaven and it made me smile. It shouted, “Bryan really is in a good place. He is with Jesus. It starts out…
“December hasn’t changed,
This town looks the same,
They still light that tree in the city square,
There’s red, white, and green shining everywhere,
And I wish you were here
And I wonder
Is the snow falling down on the streets of gold
Are the mansions all covered in white,
Are you singing with angels silent night,
I wonder, what Christmas in Heaven is like.”
A Different Kind of Christmas This Year (Christmas with Mark Schultz 2014)
As the years go by, the number of people who are missing around the Christmas table has grown. In 2022, my mom died. As is the case with many who have lost parents with lingering illness, it was a loss “over the years” where she could do less and less. When she passed in late summer, I am not sure I thought about it for a while, but as we headed into Thanksgiving and Christmas, I felt it. My mom wasn’t perfect; none of us are. But she loved and cared well and did what she could to make everyone feel significant.
“There’s one less place set at the table;
One less gift under the tree;
And a brand new ache to take their place inside of me.
I’m unwrapping all these memories,
fighting back the tears,
It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year.
Now there’s voices in the driveway,
Families right outside the door,
And we’ll try to make this Christmas like the one’s we’ve had before.
As we gather round the table,
I see joy on every face,
And I realize what’s still alive is the legacy you made.”
Jealous of the Angels (Jenn Bostic 2011)
In 2023, a new song took center stage in my soul. The melody stole my heart, and the story behind the song captivated me. She speaks of the impact of music. While I wish I could write a song, I am so glad God has gifted others who CAN write. I preface with I don’t believe that when we die, we become angels. I do believe that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord for those who place their faith in Jesus. And I do believe we will gather around the throne of God and worship Him. That is where I will find my boys and my parents and my grandparents someday.
“I didn’t know today would be our last,
Or that I’d have to say goodbye to you so fast,
I’m so numb, I can’t feel anymore,
Prayin’ you’d just walk back through that door.
And tell me that I was only dreamin’,
You’re not really gone as long as I believe.
There will be another angel,
Around the throne tonight,
Your love lives on inside of me,
And I will hold on tight,
It’s not my place to question.
Only God knows why,
I’m just jealous of the angels,
Around the throne tonight.”
Reflection
I am betting you have found a few songs that have spoken to your heart. I pray that as you enter the holiday season, you put a few on repeat and allow Jesus Christ to sing over you. Merry Christmas!
