Suffering With Those Who Suffer: I Didn’t See That One Coming

On July 4th, floodwaters tore through the Texas Hill Country. Rural communities like Kerr County braced for devastating news. One hundred and thirty-five people lost their lives. Especially hard hit was Camp Mystic, a beloved Christian camp, where twenty-seven campers and counselors perished.

When I first heard the news, my thoughts immediately went to my daughter, who works at a nearby camp. I say “nearby,” because in Texas, we don’t count distance in miles—we count it in hours—so sixty miles feels close. Camp Eagle, where she serves, is situated on the Nueces River, one of thirteen rivers originating in the Texas Hill Country. To a mama watching flood reports roll in, how could they not all run together? Thankfully, my daughter’s camp was safe.

Then I began to imagine what life would be like for all those families. The days ahead as they planned funerals for loved ones. The weeks ahead, as news continues to spread to those around them. The months ahead—as summer progresses, school begins, and holidays approach—they will experience “the dreaded 1sts”: birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, vacations without their loved ones, and so much more. In the years ahead, as everyone else’s life goes on as usual, their lives will never be the same.

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Grief That Never Fully Leaves

As I imagined the road ahead for these families, I flashed back to the early days after my son Bryan died. Struggling to sleep because images of him wouldn’t let up—and struggling to stay awake because grief is exhausting. Sitting across from someone, trying to comprehend their words, but unable to. Because in the midst of grief, your brain simply doesn’t function. Crying every day because my heart was broken, and wondering when—if ever—that would change. Feeling enraged at how unfair it was that my son was gone.

Why did a tragedy happening to families I’ve never met send me into a tailspin? It’s the nature of grief. “Imagining what they are going through” doesn’t quite capture it. You don’t have to imagine. You have lived it. And once you’ve lived it, fear that it could easily be you again isn’t irrational. You KNOW it can be you. You’ve been there.

So what do you do when triggers arise?

You feel the feelings and grieve what surfaces. When it gets too overwhelming, you ask for help. You surround yourself with those who will encourage you and love you in your sorrow. You find “your people,” the ones who understand that grief is not a one-year sentence—it can be a lifetime of reminders.

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If you’re walking through your own season of grief, know you don’t have to walk it alone.

In the North Dallas/Collin County area, we offer a ten-week workshop called Rebuild: Finding Hope After Loss. New groups begin September 8th. Many areas also offer GriefShare, an international, faith-based organization with a structured thirteen-week program—available both in-person and online—to help individuals navigate grief after the loss of a loved one.

The key is: you don’t have to do it alone.