Finding Hope in Lament: My Journey Through Grief and Healing

In session eight of Rebuild, we address the question, “How can I express my sorrow?”
Grief brings so many emotions—sadness, anger, confusion, even numbness—that it can be hard to know what to do with them. As we explore lament and grief, we’ll discover that it’s not only a biblical idea but also a deeply personal way to bring our pain before God.

Lament gives us language for what we can’t fully express. It doesn’t ask us to tidy up our feelings or rush to answers; it invites us to meet God honestly in our suffering.

J. Kevin Butcher writes in Free:

“But all suffering calls us to lament. As the psalmist wrote, ‘Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.’ (Psalm 30:5 NLT) To survive the mystery of suffering, we must sit with our pain and grieve—not find answers but, as Aubrey Sampson says, ‘to be still in the unanswerable.’ Listen carefully—lament is a gift God gives His people, inviting us to take our pain to Him and receive His healing in return. It is here, in that sacred space where we sob our suffering and our unanswered questions to our Father while furiously pounding on His chest, that Jesus will meet us with His love and hold us, heal us, and give us courage to go on.”

Lament and Grief: Finding Words for My Sorrow

God has a way of pressing repeat in my life—not to frustrate me, but because I am a slow learner. Through different seasons of loss, He has brought me back to the same powerful theme: lament.

What Is Lament and Grief as a Spiritual Practice?

Lament isn’t simply sadness—it’s bringing our raw, unfiltered hearts to God.
A lament is a passionate expression of mourning, often found in poems, songs, or prayers. In Scripture, lament is brutally honest: it names pain and even anger, while still clinging to the relentless goodness of God.

When my son Bryan died, I had no language for my grief. I read verses like “You have chosen my portion” and “You lead me to pleasant places” (Psalm 16:5–6) and couldn’t reconcile them with the jagged reality of losing what was most precious to me.
How could this path be “pleasant”? How could this be God’s chosen portion for my life?

Over time, I learned that lament is not a sign of weak faith but of courageous faith—the kind that brings every question, ache, and tear to Him.

Three Lessons on Living with Lament and Grief

1. Remembering the Early Days: Wrestling with Suffering
Two months after Bryan died, my church began a sermon series on The Book of Job: Suffering Well.
My first reaction? Are you kidding me?
But one pastor said something I’ll never forget:

“If it’s hard to even show up right now, that’s okay.”
That simple acknowledgment was a gift—it gave me permission to not have all the answers.

2. A Year Later: Discovering Practical Tools for Grief
When I joined Rebuild: Finding Hope After Loss, the topic of lament resurfaced—this time as a practical way to process sorrow.
Three biblical truths stood out:

• Grief is a natural, God-given response to pain and loss.
• God’s faithfulness doesn’t erase loss—it meets us in it.
• Lament is woven throughout Scripture—from the Psalms to Lamentations.

3. Two Years Later: A Global Season of Lament
In 2020, as the world shut down, lament became a global language.
Our church preached from Lamentations, and Pastor Scott Stonehouse introduced Mark Vroegop’s book Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, which outlines a simple pattern:

1. Turn to God in prayer
2. Complain honestly
3. Ask Him to act
4. Express trust in Him

That framework gave me words for my sorrow—a way to honor God while being honest about my pain.

Lament became more than a biblical concept. It became a spiritual practice—a form of worship in the midst of pain.

Reflection Questions

1. When you think about your own loss, what feelings have been hardest to bring honestly to God?
2. How might lament be a bridge between your pain and your faith?
3. Which part of the four-step pattern (turn, complain, ask, trust) feels most natural—or most difficult—for you right now?

Upcoming Event: The Hardest Days and the Holidays

If you’re walking through loss this season, you’re invited to a special evening designed to bring comfort, hope, and practical tools for navigating the holidays.

Join us for The Hardest Days and the Holidays at Woodcreek Church on November 17th – a night to prepare your heart for the season ahead, surrounded by others who understand.