What Influences Grief
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Suffering With Those Who Suffer: I Didn’t See That One Coming
When tragedy strikes, past grief can resurface in unexpected ways. This reflection explores how grief is triggered by tragedy—and what to do with it.
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Do I Grieve Like I Have No Hope?
This past year has been full of funerals. Many have buried someone they love, as have I. Often, it was an elderly parent or grandparent. It can seem like a relief when a loved one has been sick for a long time. Or they have lived a full, long life and pass. For others, it was unexpected—those who are younger and buried a spouse or sibling. Then there is the heartbreak of those who buried a child, even adult children (because they are ALWAYS your child). Seeing another parent “join the club no one wants to be a part of,” the bereaved parents club, has been a bit triggering. It…
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I Will Never Forget The First Time I Heard That Song
Music and Memory in GriefMusic is a universal language. It reflects the heart and touches the soul. In seasons of grief, it opens a valve to our emotions. That’s why so many people find healing through music. Each season, I seem to discover a new song that helps me say what my heart is feeling. Especially around the holidays, I find myself listening again and again as I silently cry, “I miss you.”Here are a few of the songs that have carried me. The Sweetest Gift (Craig Aven 2016) In 2018, shortly after Bryan died, I came across The Sweetest Gift by Craig Aven. Christmas had already passed, but I…
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Thanksgiving Surprise – Are Your Senses High Strung?
The holiday season is full of landmines for those in the midst of grief. I will never forget our first Thanksgiving after Bryan died. I was looking forward to having both of my girls home. Robin, my oldest, called to ask if they could bring their dog. I knew my husband, Marcus, would not be excited. He didn’t care for dog hairs that come with a dog in the house. Trying to care for him well, I thought it was best to get his “buy in” before saying yes. He apparently had no calms about saying no. I, on the other hand, was devastated at the prospect of not having…
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Easter in a Season of Sorrow
Easter Past I love Easter. As our kids grew up, it was almost a sacred time. After church on Easter Sunday, we would go to my folk’s house for lunch, an Easter egg hunt, and family photos. The kids would line in age order to take pictures. Then, they would get in height order. The Thomas kids spread out nicely in age order, but when it came to height order, they usually gathered at the end of the line. Finally, there was the obligatory photo with Mimi and Bop Bop. What I wouldn’t give to have those days back! I have other Easter memories. When Bryan was six, he was…
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Grief: Different Stroke for Different Folks, But I Didn’t See That One Coming
How might the type of death, type of relationship with the person, and previous experiences with the death affect our ability to grieve?
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Do You Have The Kind Of Support System You Need?
How Support Systems Shape the Way We Grieve A key factor in how we process grief is the kind of support system we have. Life stage, personality, and community all influence who supports us and how we heal. 🧒 Stage of Life Children often turn to their parents during grief. Parents carry the heavy task of guiding their children while managing their own pain—sometimes putting their kids’ needs first. Young adults tend to rely on friends. They may push away their parents’ care as they seek independence. But friends often lack experience with loss and may not know how to offer support. As a result, their ability to tolerate grief…
