Learning in Grief
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When You Can’t Speak the Pain, Create It
Creativity can speak when grief leaves you silent. Whether it’s journaling, painting, or music, creative expression helps calm the nervous system, restore a sense of control, and open the door to hope. In the quiet act of making something, healing often begins.
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How One Simple Practice Helped Me Reclaim My Faith in Grief
When grief shakes everything loose, hope can feel out of reach. Through the practice of a “Declaration of Hope,” I’m learning that circumstances may not change—but my focus can. Choosing to declare God’s faithfulness opens the door to healing, even in the storm.
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Learning to Hope Again When Grief Reopens Old Wounds
This summer, I’ve been working through a Bible study with a friend: Hope For The Hurting Heart, by Linda Dillow. It’s a gentle, faith-based companion for those walking through grief. With honesty shaped by deep loss, Dillow offers more than advice—she offers presence. Her “Heart Skills” are not spiritual checklists. They’re anchors for when sorrow threatens to pull you under. We haven’t made it far in the book yet, but one chapter—on Hope—stopped me in my tracks. Honestly, it would’ve been worth the entire book just for that one lesson. Because if I’m being honest… The search for hope may be my greatest struggle in life. Especially during times of grief.…
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A New Year Without You
A New Year is typically a time for resolutions—intentions to do something new. Some resolutions include improving one’s health, getting out of debt, going back to school, or spending more time with loved ones. I often wonder, in the midst of grief, what a New Year’s resolution might look like when sometimes getting out of bed is a challenge, when planning for the future seems impossible because your “future” died with that loved one. So, in 2025, to my fellow grievers, here are some resolutions you might try. Resolve to do helpful things. There is a slogan we used in REBUILD, Finding Hope After Loss, that goes like this: “Everything is normal.…
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Making Meaning In The Midst of Grief
December 16th is a date that will live in infamy, at least in my life. It represents the day our precious Bryan went to Heaven. The day I thought my heart would stop beating; the day our lives changed forever; and it is something else: it is the day of my new son-in-law, Luke’s birth, the remarkable young man who promised to love and cherish our precious firstborn daughter, Robin. I didn’t realize it was Luke’s birthday until I had attached a different meaning to it – Bryan’s death. We all have emotional connections to certain dates, don’t we? For me, the significance is layered.My mom’s birthday falls on September…
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As One Parent To Another, What’s Your Story?
Grieving as a parent is one of the hardest roads we walk. But sharing our stories helps us remember the life, not just the loss. Telling our stories keeps memories alive—it’s how I hold on to my sons, David Michael and Bryan Marcus, and how I also celebrate the lives of my daughters, Robin and Sara. Earlier this year, I had the chance to share my personal story of grieving as a parent on the podcast “While We’re Waiting.” I am forever grateful to Brad and Jill Persenaire Sullivan and Janice and Larry Brown for how they walk alongside bereaved parents through this powerful ministry. In part one of this…
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Five Myths About Grief and The Truth That Will Set You Free
Grief is complicated. That might be an understatement. We come into grief with perceptions of how it is supposed to work, but what do we base those perceptions upon? Perhaps as you read some common myths about grief, you will find ones you believe. Maybe it is time to take another look at those beliefs. #1 Myth: It will get better with time The truth is that time doesn’t make things better. It is what you do with the time that will make it better. You have to take the time you need to grieve the loss and do helpful things during that time. #2 Myth: Talking about those who…
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To Grieve or Not To Grieve – Not the Right Question
Grief is defined as “whatever you think and feel inside about the loss. Any thoughts, emotions, physical symptoms, and even unexpected behaviors you are experiencing because of the loss/death are part of your grief.” (Alan Wolfelt) Mourning is when grievers express their grief outside themselves. Mourning is grief inside out. (Alan Wolfelt) Grief is not optional because you will think and feel in the midst of the pain of loss. Mourning is another matter altogether. Let’s change the question to ” To mourn or not to mourn.” Mourning looks different for everyone Some people emote and express their feelings freely. They feel their emotions, both good and bad. It can be a healthy response but might…
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Presuppositions and Grief: It Might Be Time to Take Another Look
Have you ever been in one of those situations where you heard a word or sentence that piques your curiosity, and then the same idea comes up several times in a short period? As a Christ follower, I take that as God trying to get my attention. What might that idea be right now? It is the idea of “presupposition.” Two weeks ago, during bible study, our teacher explained that when we study the Bible, we often come with presuppositions. A presupposition is something we assume to be true based on our background. If you are raised Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Lutheran, other world religions, or no religion, you were taught…
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Growth In Loss: Loss Can Trigger Loss, But It Doesn’t Have To
“Loss triggers loss. If you don’t learn the art of helpful grieving now, future losses will compound – and continue to derail you.” Rebuild, week 6 Remembering when When it comes to child loss, my first experience came at 20 weeks of pregnancy. I was pregnant with my 3rdchild and went in for my “normal monthly check” when they discovered nothing was “normal” about it. There was no heartbeat. My world crashed in around me. I found out I was having a boy and that he was gone, all in a matter of moments. Darkness overtook me as I waited three days to deliver my long-anticipated son, David Michael. I had…
