Beauty From Ashes: Reviewing My Year

2024 is rapidly coming to an end. It is a year full of changes, challenges, and comfort. So, before moving into 2025, I wanted to stop and remember. To thank God for the times He has met me, for the friends he has put in my life along the way, and for reminders that seven years down the road, there is beauty in the midst of ashes. 

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others (1 Peter 4:10)

A considerable part of my life since Bryan died has been about helping others in the midst of their grief. During the Spring semester, we trained a new group of leaders and tried something new – we had a Mother’s Day Tea for Grieving Moms. It was not a new concept, but it was the first time we offered it, and we included moms dealing with infertility. Infertility is a big part of my heart as it became real as my daughter, Robin, has struggled for the last several years.

I can also look back and see that time spent in the unique ministry I find myself in, working with those in a season of grief, gave me opportunities to meet new men and women facing the challenges that come with grief. Each one touched my life, and I pray I touched theirs as well.

Encourage one another and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

One of the sweet parts of my job is encouraging and equipping volunteers. Each week, they step into the lives of men and women in crisis pregnancies. It is a draining ministry, and we wanted to encourage our staff and volunteers in the spiritual battle they face.

About nine years ago, part of that “equipping” included a day of “rejuvenation and reflection.” The idea was to set aside a day to connect with our volunteers, board, and staff through team building, fellowship with one another, and connection with God. When COVID hit, our retreat day was put on hold for a few years; this year, we brought it back. I am pretty sure it encouraged me as much as it did those participating, as it allowed me space to create prayer practices around our theme of Everlasting (Psalm 90:2).

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)

This fall, our community of friends at church had a tough month—one loss after another.  A man lost his wife, another his elderly mother, and then another woman lost her mom. I was struck as I sat at the third funeral in fourteen days that it had to be triggering to each individual to hear some of the same Hymns and Scriptures, to see another family walk down the aisle to sit at the front of the church, to hear the eulogy read and think about their own loved one. Eight days later, I was the one walking down the long aisle at my own dad’s funeral. The sheer scale of decisions made in a short amount of time is mind-blowing. And something else was true: we had a community of friends who were willing to walk beside one another, care for one another, and meet one another’s needs. In the middle of all the heartache, we attended a Gala together. What a gift to experience and to look back and remember. Losses in life are inevitable; loving one another through it is always a choice.

For everything there is a season… a time to weep, and a time to laugh (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

I’ve shared before about memories I’ve attached to my son’s death. This year that felt bigger as it was a “bigger birthday,” my 60^th. The question for me is, what am I going to do about it? Will I choose unhelpful things like isolating myself and refusing to be with friends who are life-giving, or will I allow others who have wept with me to now laugh with me?

Fortunately, I have a little help choosing helpful things. Birthday celebrations started 2 weeks early at work (because I take off around Bryan’s anniversary), including a “Julie worthy” bad birthday song; I had a birthday breakfast with two different friends; I had a sweet phone call to talk about how I was doing heading into the holidays with two other friends; my husband arranged a fun overnight adventure with my girlfriends, AND my girls came in town to surprise me. The image I chose to remember that weekend was actually of my daughter going to church with me the Sunday before Christmas.

Reflection

• As you look back on your year, what moments stand out to you? 
• Where have you found beauty in the ashes of grief? 
• Who or what can you give thanks for? 
• What, if anything, will you do differently in the year to come?