-
Gifts in the Midst of Grief – Part Three
Grief is a journey that can last as long as life on earth. But I believe it isn't the end of our stories. It is only the beginning.
-
Gifts in the Midst of Grief – Part Two
I am not sure I set out to find “gifts in the midst of grief.” I just wanted to survive the brokenness I felt. Yet, I did find a second gift. Grieve in Helpful Ways When Bryan died, I only knew ONE person who had lost a child, Joan. She lived in Chicago, and I lived in Texas. She was a bucket person for me. That means I could lean into her for wisdom and insight, especially the first days, weeks, and months after Bryan died. During our MANY conversations, especially coming up to “big days,” she would share things she found helpful early on in her grief. On several occasions, she shared…
-
Gifts in the Midst Grief – Part One
“I hear I need to ask for and accept help from others. I don’t know what I need. It is hard to ask. It is easier to pull away.”
-
Grief Isn’t A Disease To Be Cured
Grief is complicated. We search for answers, but the most beneficial things that can occur aren’t the answers but those we meet along our search. When Bryan died, I knew ONE PERSON who had lost a child, Joan. I met Joan five years before as I became involved with a lifemaping ministry called Listen To My Life. Joan helped so much in the early days, weeks, months, and years. While she was a wealth of knowledge with loads of resources, the most helpful thing Joan did (and does) was walk beside me. It is a “walking beside you” experience of not having to have the answer or even explain the…
-
Paradox of Mourning – Things you never expect
Tomorrow would be my son Bryan’s 22nd birthday on the 22nd. His “golden birthday.” That was a new term for me. A golden birthday is a birthday year when you turn the age that corresponds to the day of the month of your birthday. Bryan only lived to be 16, but time has moved on. And a new milestone arose. So how do you celebrate? How do you honor someone once they are gone? How do you move forward while looking back? That is the paradox of mourning. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a famous death educator, grief counselor, and author, wrote about it in “The Paradox of Mourning.” Paradox 1: You…
-
Bereaved Mother’s Day, A Way To Remember
Did you know that the Sunday before Mother’s Day is a day of remembrance? It is International Bereaved Mother’s Day. It recognizes those who have lost a child or cannot be a mother due to infertility or other health reasons. From miscarriage and stillbirths to SIDS and death of children, teens, young adults, and adult children, mammas of any age are not designed to bury their child. It goes against the natural order of life. From the moment a mom first recognizes she is pregnant till the day she buries that child, everything screams of her love and care for the life she bore. You probably won’t find a card at Hallmark for the…
-
Objective Truth, What a Difference It Can Make
I recently heard Jim Warren Wallace, a cold case investigator and Christian Apologist, speak on the topic of truth. He explained the difference between “objective” and “subjective” truth. “Objective” truth” is true for all of us, regardless of how we feel about it. The truth is based on the object of the truth. “Subjective” truth is a matter of personal opinion and can change based on how you feel because your feelings about the subject can change. What is “truth” for a Christian regarding adversity in life? How can God allow the worst kinds of heartache, like the unexpected death of a loved one? The Bible says, “I have told…
-
Set The Stage For Life
My earliest memory of loss goes back to my grandpa (1971). I was in early elementary school at the time. The feelings of being overwhelmed by his death still cloud my vision today. Ed Avery (Apr 30, 1971, to December 7, 1971), or as we call him “Popo,” lived in a small community outside of San Antonio, Texas, in Boldtville. I was too young to appreciate many things about the man. What I do know came from stories of how he cared for his community, served at the local Presbyterian Church up the road (literally), and faithfully provided for his family. He and my grandmother, “Momo”, ran the Avery’s General Store at…
-
Happy Birthday In Heaven
August 22nd will be my son’s 21st birthday. It should be a time of celebration, but not this year. Or ever again. You see, Bryan has spent his last four birthdays in Heaven. On the morning of December 16, 2017, we were making plans for the holidays, Christmas shopping online, and preparing for the upcoming wedding of our oldest daughter Robin. Late that afternoon, my life changed forever. What started as an evening with friends turned into a nightmare as we discovered our 16-year-old son, Bryan, hung in the shower. I can remember it like yesterday. I was sitting on the couch, writing Christmas cards and watching a Christmas movie. My husband came in from…
