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Suffering With Those Who Suffer: I Didn’t See That One Coming
When tragedy strikes, past grief can resurface in unexpected ways. This reflection explores how grief is triggered by tragedy—and what to do with it.
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Tea For The Heart, A Grieving Mother’s Gathering
Seven years and four months ago, I entered a new world, the world of child loss. I never would have imagined that what followed would be filled with so many unexpected moments. Moments of tears of sorrow and joy. Moments of deep connection over honest conversations. Moments of gratitude for those who understood and could never understand my heartache. April 26th, my “community” hosted a special tea for moms and grandmothers who have experienced the loss of a child of any age or stage of life, along with moms in waiting who struggle with infertility. I used the term “my community” to mean my church family, our care director, and…
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Do I Grieve Like I Have No Hope?
This past year has been full of funerals. Many have buried someone they love, as have I. Often, it was an elderly parent or grandparent. It can seem like a relief when a loved one has been sick for a long time. Or they have lived a full, long life and pass. For others, it was unexpected—those who are younger and buried a spouse or sibling. Then there is the heartbreak of those who buried a child, even adult children (because they are ALWAYS your child). Seeing another parent “join the club no one wants to be a part of,” the bereaved parents club, has been a bit triggering. It…
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A New Year Without You
A New Year is typically a time for resolutions—intentions to do something new. Some resolutions include improving one’s health, getting out of debt, going back to school, or spending more time with loved ones. I often wonder, in the midst of grief, what a New Year’s resolution might look like when sometimes getting out of bed is a challenge, when planning for the future seems impossible because your “future” died with that loved one. So, in 2025, to my fellow grievers, here are some resolutions you might try. Resolve to do helpful things. There is a slogan we used in REBUILD, Finding Hope After Loss, that goes like this: “Everything is normal.…
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Beauty From Ashes: Reviewing My Year
2024 is rapidly coming to an end. It is a year full of changes, challenges, and comfort. So, before moving into 2025, I wanted to stop and remember. To thank God for the times He has met me, for the friends he has put in my life along the way, and for reminders that seven years down the road, there is beauty in the midst of ashes. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others (1 Peter 4:10) A considerable part of my life since Bryan died has been about helping others in the midst of their grief. During the Spring semester, we trained a new…
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I Will Never Forget The First Time I Heard That Song
Music and Memory in GriefMusic is a universal language. It reflects the heart and touches the soul. In seasons of grief, it opens a valve to our emotions. That’s why so many people find healing through music. Each season, I seem to discover a new song that helps me say what my heart is feeling. Especially around the holidays, I find myself listening again and again as I silently cry, “I miss you.”Here are a few of the songs that have carried me. The Sweetest Gift (Craig Aven 2016) In 2018, shortly after Bryan died, I came across The Sweetest Gift by Craig Aven. Christmas had already passed, but I…
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Making Meaning In The Midst of Grief
December 16th is a date that will live in infamy, at least in my life. It represents the day our precious Bryan went to Heaven. The day I thought my heart would stop beating; the day our lives changed forever; and it is something else: it is the day of my new son-in-law, Luke’s birth, the remarkable young man who promised to love and cherish our precious firstborn daughter, Robin. I didn’t realize it was Luke’s birthday until I had attached a different meaning to it – Bryan’s death. We all have emotional connections to certain dates, don’t we? For me, the significance is layered.My mom’s birthday falls on September…
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Thanksgiving Surprise – Are Your Senses High Strung?
The holiday season is full of landmines for those in the midst of grief. I will never forget our first Thanksgiving after Bryan died. I was looking forward to having both of my girls home. Robin, my oldest, called to ask if they could bring their dog. I knew my husband, Marcus, would not be excited. He didn’t care for dog hairs that come with a dog in the house. Trying to care for him well, I thought it was best to get his “buy in” before saying yes. He apparently had no calms about saying no. I, on the other hand, was devastated at the prospect of not having…
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As One Parent To Another, What’s Your Story?
Grieving as a parent is one of the hardest roads we walk. But sharing our stories helps us remember the life, not just the loss. Telling our stories keeps memories alive—it’s how I hold on to my sons, David Michael and Bryan Marcus, and how I also celebrate the lives of my daughters, Robin and Sara. Earlier this year, I had the chance to share my personal story of grieving as a parent on the podcast “While We’re Waiting.” I am forever grateful to Brad and Jill Persenaire Sullivan and Janice and Larry Brown for how they walk alongside bereaved parents through this powerful ministry. In part one of this…
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Grateful Hearts: Tea Time for Grieving Moms
“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever.”
