This past year has been full of funerals. Many have buried someone they love, as have I. Often, it was an elderly parent or grandparent. It can seem like a relief when a loved one has been sick for a long time. Or they have lived a full, long life and pass. For others, it was unexpected—those who are younger and buried a spouse or sibling. Then there is the heartbreak of those who buried a child, even adult children (because they are ALWAYS your child).
Seeing another parent “join the club no one wants to be a part of,” the bereaved parents club, has been a bit triggering. It takes me back to the early days after losing my sons, especially Bryan. Trying to make sense of what happened, explaining what happened to friends and family, planning a funeral and wedding in the same month, and figuring out how to move on with my life was unbearable.
And then there was my understanding of God.
One verse was shared at most funerals I attended. “And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13 – New Living Translation)
I had to ask myself, “Do I really grieve differently than those who have no hope?” In my head, I knew God promised that for those who believe in Christ, there is hope because we will see our loved ones again in heaven. But in my heart, I was devastated to be without my son. Not on my heart, but my entire body hurt from his absence. What does that say about me and my faith in God?
Can you relate?
Does the absence of your loved one leave you feeling hopeless at times? I will say that seven years later, I have hope. I’ve worked through those feelings and find joy in knowing I will see Bryan again in heaven (at least MOST DAYS). Can I just encourage you that hope lies ahead as you pursue questions, as your body calms down from the trauma that comes with grief, and as you find healthy ways to grieve? And you don’t have to do it alone. If you are looking for support in the North Dallas/Collin County area, I recommend REBUILD. REBUILD offers groups each Fall and Spring at Woodcreek Church in Richardson, Texas, as well as in the Chicago area. If you are outside the area, check out Grief Share; they offer groups in many churches, regardless of your religious affiliation.
